I have so been there on this one! Mind if I post as a question so we can make sure people see it and post back? <3
The Newcomer's Welcome: What brings you to Village?
Selfcare31
#118
@Jane Not at all! Please share wherever needed. I would like more responses if possible 
katie
#119
You know whatās so exciting for me?!!
Welcoming 30 new members to the Community this week:
@Mia @Maya @Rpal @klane0124 @kj_rocker74 @kevinschmidt @CMc @Khickle @anonymous9 @anonymous10 @Emkawa @Mrjeffpowers @spin45s @anonymous11 @Elle @Gotthisjuice @merrimancn @anonymous12 @anonymous13 @Selfcare31 @aloneikeepthewolves @aimforthesun @tarabrodie @MrsK @Lperrelli @Redisadork @Dntthnktwice @Notyou @raybeccca @Vinicius_Canuto
Friends, we are not alone in this journey. And the more of us that hang out here, asking questions and sharing our experience, the stronger we become.
If you havenāt yet, please take 5 minutes to:
- Say āhi!ā on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
- Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added makes this place a more valuable resource for all .
Please donāt hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! Iām here, ready to help. 
Jane
#120
Welcome everyone so great to have you with us! With our powers combinedā¦we can make a huge difference in our own journeys and in all those whoāll come after us and read our experiences to find their way - if youāve felt it, wondered it, asked it, then thereās likely to be a whole bunch more people whoāre feeling it too 
Did you know that almost 50% of Americans are affected by addiction through a friend or family member?
Every share here breaks the stigma a little more - keep sharing and keep coming back!
jfh
#121
Hi,
I joined this after someone on reddit /Alanon told me about it. Iāve been struggling for a year of my marriage with my husband. He drinks until he passes out, lost jobs because of it, and now he is in treatment for alcohol abuse and Iām away for vacations. The last year was hell for me. Constant fighting, relapses, lies, and eventually I told him that I had enough and after my trip I would leave him since I cannot do, or better said control what actions he does, but I can choose mines. I came here looking for support and advice on situations similar to mine. What can I do or how do I manage certain situations.
Selfcare31
#122
Thank you for sharing @jfh and welcome! I understand the struggle. My boyfriend has been battling heroin/opiate addiction for over 10 years and itās really difficult to see someone you love turn into a completely different person. It can be really draining and exhausting. For a while, I fell into a deep depression because I felt stuck and had no idea what to do, how to handle things, and what I can do to move forward. I started going to Al-Anon meetings and found myself a counselor because every time I tried talking to friends or family, they just didnāt understand and it made me feel even more isolated. I started following support groups for loved ones of addicts on every avenue I could find whether it was through social media or some other forum. It was so comforting for me to talk to other people who understood what I was going through. The support, reading their stories and similar experiences, and encouraging advice made me feel so much less alone.
One thing I found extremely helpful is to set boundaries and stick to them. My boyfriend can be extremely manipulative when he is actively using. The more I allow him to take advantage of my home, my money, etc., the more it enables him and continue actively using. One of the boundaries I set was if he is actively using and does not plan on getting help, then he cannot live with me. I always made sure to remind him that I love him but when it starts to negatively impact my mental health, I cannot allow him to be around me. This also ensures that you are taking care of yourself first and be the best support you can be when he is ready to get help, if you choose to stay in the relationship.
Just my two cents. I hope this helps. Good luck and there is hope, it can get better!
katie
#124
Welcome here @jfh! I think youāll find that youāre in a safe space - most of us have been through or are going through a similar hell, and there are lots of other concerned wives and partners to connect with. Maybe @Msyoung69 @polly @vetti @Kjordon89?!
katie
#125
Friends! I tried to record you a fun #WelcomeWednesday video only to be bamboozled by the platform, so hereās fun screenshot of me talking (plus other thumbnails of my face - which is your favorite? 
) so you at least get the ideaā¦
I want to extend a VERY WARM WELCOME to the 23 new members who joined the Community this week: @Notyou @raybeccca @Vinicius_Canuto @Vivek @jfh @Brittany_Brittany @Carlo @Brittany_Brittany @Carlo @marybieter @delongwayhome @Laaurrrren @Treehugger @HexKattykat @Luke12 @Adammassie89 @Alice1 @apisapia322 @Spirit725 @Jamer @Chris @Ljohanson @Jonnyd @Rivkah @p_dewey
Newcomers, weād love if you took a minute to say āHi!ā on this thread. And existing members, weād love if you took a minute to greet our newcomers and tell them what you appreciate about Village!
Itās exciting to see our Community grow week over week! 
p_dewey
#126
Hi @Katie thanks for the warm welcome. I look forward to getting to know people in the community and I hope some of my past can help people who presently have a relationship/relationships with an addict. Or is an addict. My heart really holds a special place in this area. Thank you for accepting me in to the forum. Namaste <3
katie
#128
Happy (belated) #WelcomeWednesday!!
This past week we welcomed 19 new members into the Community - @Rivkah @p_dewey @Hisham @Sarao @Mcml @lizziec @Lizzie_Cruz @Kim1 @Fraser @Mathi @Carrie1027 @Liz_Dem-Mer @FA1TH @Sheila @Bumpkin88 @Tammy55 @risarenee @Sharonburtwocn @Suse @scout - and have enjoyed some really awesome dialogue already!
If you havenāt yet, please take 5 minutes to:
- Say āhi!ā on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
- Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added honestly makes this place a more valuable resource for all .
Donāt hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! Iām here & happy to help!
Jay
#130
Hi.
Iām Jay and Iām from Boston. My recovery date is October 4, 2009. I cam to the Village after they reached out to me on Instagram and asked if Iād join.
momentsandlight
#132
My husband is a recovering addict. I learned about his drub abuse early on in our relationship, before we were even married, but at the time it seemed manageable. Like many opioid addictions, he started off with painkillers and eventually moved on to heroin. He used for a summer before we got married. He got clean on his own and stayed clean for 8 years with the help of Suboxone. He started using again about a year and a half after our son was born. After a rough few years that have included lies, betrayal, confusion, pain, ultimatums, rehab, IOPs, relapses, slips, AA, HA, Al-Anon, group counseling, individual therapy, couples therapy, yoga, and a whole lot of surrender and soul-searchingā¦ we are in a good place. My husband is a recovering addict. And after searching for stories similar to mine - other spouses of heroin addicts to whom I could relate - and coming up short, I decided to start sharing my own story. There is power and hope and strength in our stories. Iām here to to share, and to recover, and to hopefully help break the stigma of addiction. Thank you for this space. <3
katie
#131
Welcome here @Jay. Congratulations on almost 10 years! Weāre thankful for the unique perspective & guidance you have to offer to those who care about people who struggle/d with substance use.
erica
#133
Welcome and weāre so happy to have you here @momentsandlight! You have certainly been through it and I hope you find that youāre not alone here at Village. Thank you for being willing to share the power, hope, and strength from your own story to help others and help yourself as well.
This is magic 
:
katie
#135
Extending a very warm #WednesdayWelcome to our 16 new members this week: @Jewel @xxcarolyn @Leftenant @bryb @MamaHnyBns @Jay @anonymous14 @IAMWORTHY @momentsandlight @Bohogirl @CharlieHorse @CourtneyMae86 @Amy_Sellitti @vcj11 @Audray_Gollinger @kalialyssa!
If you havenāt yet, please take 5 minutes to:
- Say āhi!ā on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
- Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added honestly makes this place a more valuable resource for all .
Donāt hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! Iām here & happy to help! 
CourtneyMae86
#136
Hi everyone Iām Courtney. My boyfriend of four years is a recovering Heroin addict. With four years together there has been relapse, rehabs, jails and just a whole lot of craziness. We share a two year old son together. Today he stands with a year and a half clean. He has grown so much. We have so much yet to work on. But Itās kind of scary. When he does well im like constantly nervous for things to just get crazy again. Because thatās what happened the last time. I just didnāt see it coming. I didnāt expect it. I know this isnāt in our control. But I tell myself, maybe if you paid more attention to the signs that i wouldāve been able to help prevent it. I just have that fear every day of relapse. Im afraid to just get comfortable with things going well, god forbid he were to pick up again and for the craziness to begin. Itās something Iām working on. Im excited to have this site come my way. Itās something I totally needed and I plan to use it fully.